i fucking hate lance i honestly have never wished harm upon anyone but i hope he suffers miserably. I get woken up to phone calls from him calling me a spud and a junky..i dont need this bullshit! I am sober and happy with out him. So, i went on the sprint website and had his phone calls and texts blocked. I have never met someone so manipulative in my life..fucking psycho..who the hell calls there x at 3am?

I haven’t reallly been aware of what i’ve been doing the past few months.. i have gained all my feelings and emotions before i was so numb i didnt care about anything…i’ve been running from my problems and fears. I like being sober but i this feeling i have is just :( A frog in my throat and my stomach is twisted, like a piece of me is gone.  

Gotta get over the shit i’ve done and the mistakes i’ve made..i was too fucked up to deal with my break up. I shouldn’t even be sad but it’s kind of like that stupid rihana song 

“It’s like you’re screaming but no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone could be that important, that without them, you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you. And when it’s over and it’s gone, you almost wish that you could have all that bad stuff back so you can have the good”

But i can’t go back & i won’t. I just get in a sad mood sometime & ranting on here helps to some extent